Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 11: Failure

Let me preface this by saying that my good friend Adam is evil. He was taunting me about all the delicious cereal he was eating. Pure evil. So after all his torture I went across the street to get the mail. Once I made it across the street I had decided I wouldn't be running after work. The heat did not bother me, but I couldn't breathe. Suffocating. Also, my mom had texted me early in the morning telling me not to, and I didn't want to listen to any "I told you so" or griping because I landed myself in the hospital from heat stroke or whatever. So I did not run.

While I was getting the mail, I stopped by the vending machine and bought a Snickers. FAIL. But it was the most incredible Snickers I've ever tasted. Unfortunately, I didn't stop there. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. My dinner was chilli cheese fries. That's it. MAJOR MAJOR FAIL. So now I don't know what to do. Do I go on with the diet anyway even though I already screwed it up? And will probably screw it all up again during my birthday. Part of me wants to keep going with it anyway and just add on a few extra days. Part of me wants to say the hell with this diet and eat mostly healthy, but eat what I want too.

What a dilemma. Most of what was keeping me going with this diet was the fact that I was writing about it every day. And now that I've screwed it up, I feel like it's pointless now. Obviously if I don't stick with this for the full 30 days (which I already haven't), I'm still going to eat healthy food. I actually enjoy eating fruits and vegetables. And I still want to try making foods with cauliflower and I want to try sweet potato fries. But maybe I can have carbs again too, except maybe in smaller amounts than I previously ate them.

Honestly, I do feel horrible about what I ate today and I feel like a failure and a quitter. And not even for what I ate. Because I enjoyed every last bite of it. I'm just disappointed that I couldn't stick it out for 30 days. I didn't even make it half way. And I feel like I've let everyone else down, too. Blah.

Goodnight All,

-A