Thursday, November 8, 2012

Needed: Inspiration and Motivation

I've started listening to audiobooks on my drives home from work. We have about 3 more novels to read before the end of the semester, so I figured I'd just listen to them in the car rather than waiting until I got home every night to read on top of other homework.

I'd love to tell you that it's going well. But it's not. I just finished listening to Pudd'nhead Wilson and it was painful. The "actors" were just awful to listen to, and hard to understand sometimes. It was extremely hard to not just turn it off and listen to the radio instead. I'm hoping the next one will go a little better. As discouraging as this experience has been, I did pay for the audiobooks, so I might as well listen to them.

I've agreed to do a poetry reading on November 16, which is next Friday. I don't know why, but it seemed so far away when I agreed to do it (which was just a couple days ago). Now that I've realized I have very little to read at this thing, November 16 might as well be tomorrow. I haven't written any decent poetry in months. I need some inspiration, I just don't know where to get it. One of my good friends was just nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and while I'm extremely excited for her because that's kind of a big deal, it also makes me feel kind of like a slacker and a failure. I haven't even written any poems lately, let alone submit them to any magazines. I need to pick one night a week where I work on doing some writing and eventually send my poems to some magazines.

In addition to my lack of inspiration for writing, I also have no motivation to go run or workout. Part of it may be the fact that I'm exhausted. I'm not really sure why either. Yes, I'm busy and gone some days for about 13-14 hours, but I've been getting as much sleep as possible, and I slept quite a bit this weekend too. By the time I get home, even on days I don't have class, I just don't want to work out. I don't want to do anything, really, but working out has lost its appeal. If I could go home and go straight to bed and not have to do any homework, make dinner, shower, etc. I totally would. I have gotten the urge to go run lately, but I just don't know where to go. And now that it's getting dark so much earlier, I'm reluctant to go for a run, by myself in the dark, when I don't know my way around. Hopefully I get some motivation back soon and I can get myself into a routine.