Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Not Feeling Much Like Myself

My mom has been bugging me for a new post :p

Despite my best intentions, I have not gone for a run, I haven't even worked out at home, and I'm still eating a lot of junk.

A big part of the problem is the weather. It's just too cold to get out there and do anything. I have running clothes for the winter, but nothing warm enough for how cold it's been the past several weeks. And the few days where it's been decently warm I just haven't had the time or energy to go.

Another problem is my unemployment. I'd love to have a gym membership (which would give me a place to workout when the weather is crappy), but until I have a job, we can't afford it. And being unemployed gets depressing. Really depressing. I'm pretty much stuck at home all day every day, which I really hate. It's boring and my pets are driving me nuts. I try to spend as much of my day searching and applying for jobs and writing, but some days I don't have the drive or the energy. Other days there just aren't any jobs worth applying for and I don't have an upcoming deadline (although that has changed now that I'm doing weekly stories).

Looking for jobs and stressing about not having a job is exhausting. On top of that, since I'm the one at home, I'm doing most of the laundry, dishes, cleaning, and cooking. Not fun.

I just haven't felt like myself in a really long time. It's been almost a month since my job and my four-hour commute ended but I'm still exhausted. And yet there are nights where I just can't sleep. And although I hate being stuck at home all day every day, I also hate going out. I love my family, but it gets exhausting for me to be around so many people after just a couple hours. Everyone is talking at once and loudly trying to talk over one another and it just makes me tired.

I've been really irritable and moody lately, usually for no real reason. I'm just exhausted by everything lately and I'd really like to change that, but I don't know how. You'd think that while I'm not working I'd be getting a lot of rest and I've got tons of time to work out and make healthy meals but none of that is happening. I'm too tired to work out and cook, but I'm not getting much rest because I'm working part-time and looking for jobs as much as possible and stressing about not having a job.

I'm trying to stay positive. I had an interview with a staffing company recently and will hopefully have an interview with a different company in the next week or so (I passed their editing test so they just have to schedule my interview). And I'm hoping that once I do have a full-time job again--one that doesn't include a four-hour commute--I'll be a lot less stressed and maybe things will get back to normal...whatever that is.

On the plus-side, I have been making time to read more which has been really nice. I finally finished The Hangman's Daughter which was really good, but long. Or maybe it just seemed really long because it took me months to finish it.

  I also read Girl, Interrupted. I had seen the movie before and really liked it. The book was excellent.

I'm now reading Slaughterhouse Five. And I'm on the waiting list for several books from the library.

I've also decided I really want to learn to crochet or knit. Problem with that is I'd have to buy the stuff to do it. So if any of you would like to donate some crocheting or knitting supplies so I have stuff to do when I'm not applying for jobs and writing, I'd really, really appreciate it! Oh and I have no idea how to crochet or knit, so if anyone wants to teach me, that'd be great too :)

And finally: I let my sister cut my hair!

And I've got a new cover story in the North County Community News about the Myers house in Florissant. You can read it here: