Thursday, November 21, 2013

Things I'm Missing

I miss writing. Now that I've quit school and have slightly more time on my hands, well I'm still not writing much of anything other than these blog posts. I miss my poetry.

Reasons I'm not writing:

  • I don't have the energy. 
  • I don't really have a lot of spare time. The spare time (and energy) I do have goes into looking for jobs. 
  • I haven't felt motivated or inspired in quite a while. I feel like I just don't have much to write about or say lately. Aside from my exhaustion and pending possible unemployment, my life has been pretty great lately and I've been happy. Considering 99% of what I write is heavy, depressing stuff, well "happy" doesn't exactly help me get any writing done. 
  • I also feel like I tend to focus on the same things, and I'd like to branch out to other topics (even if they're still depressing), but I'm not quite sure how to do that. Maybe I need some writing prompts or something (although most of the ones I've seen I completely hate and think they're dumb, so if any of you know of some good ones, send them my way!).
Reasons I should be writing:
  • Even though my poetry is generally depressing, writing makes me really, really happy. 
  • It makes me feel accomplished (even if none of my poetry is ever published again). 
  • Poetry is something I can create. I'm not a good cook, or a crafty person, or an artist, or anything like that. Poetry is my art. That's something I can create. And I can destroy (unlike meals which I mostly just destroy :p). I can mold it into whatever I want it to be. I can share it with the world or keep it to myself. 
I really need to get myself a new journal. One small enough to fit in my purse so I can take it with me everywhere I go. So I can write down lines that pop in my head. Or really great quotes I find randomly throughout the day. Yes, I have an iPhone that I could easily do all of these things on. But it's not the same as putting pen to paper. I love journals--although I rarely fill any up--and I think it's time for a new one. 

Something else I really miss is playing my violin. It has been a very, very long time since I've played. The reasons I haven't are pretty much the same reasons I haven't been writing: I just don't have the time or energy. 

I also miss running. I really can't remember the last time I went for a run. My body actually aches from the lack of physical activity. I'd give anything to trade the soreness and pain I get from spending 4 hours in my car every day for the muscle soreness I get from a good (or even a not-so-good) run. 

I did just find out that I've got eight sick days (yes, EIGHT) to use before my last day. I have no idea how I'm going to fit in that many days off, but I'm totally gonna try because I could definitely use them! And I'm hoping those days off will allow more time for all these things I've been missing so much lately.